Even from a thousand miles away, I could still hear that voice. Those cries. The dry, humid air of the capital city filled my lungs as birds chirped in the distance. Chaotic memories plagued my heart. Memories that brought me back to a time when everything was not so well. Stinging words levied against me, every syllable a lie that tore straight into my heart. Sly gossiping that turned into constant whispers behind my back. Anticipating a friend to deliver, when all they gave me were broken promises. Every day, millions of people across the world face the same suffering when they remember past abuse and trauma. They carry with them the crushed skeletons in the closet resulting from individuals who did not treat them with the respect they deserved. Whether it was from neglect, physical attacks, harassment, cyberbullying, or sexual assault, these people are deeply hurt by what the experiences they go through. What is causing 28% of children to witness a traumatic experience before they turn four, 40% of youth to receive a physical adult, and 33% of children to report being emotionally harassed? And this is just in America alone. The answer is that we don't yet have the courage to stand up and say "This is wrong." We as a society are so consumed in the latest Twitter posts, the most trendy fads, that we are forgetting what makes us human. And that is taking care of the humans around us. We need to create a culture of accountability. People should not be able to just say what they want to say and just "get away with it." Words are power. Words have real influence over society. And so, when people try to label an individual as "other" or viciously demean them, that is not okay. It is not okay to inflict that kind of abuse and it is not okay to tolerate it. And that is why, when you see something wrong, it is your responsibility to speak up and say something. You hold the power in your hands to erase the pain from someone else's life. That is not an easy burden to carry, neither is it a burden that everyone can carry. But if special people have taken the time out of their day to pour love into you and make you feel whole, then you sure as hell owe it to pass that gift onto someone else.
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Have you ever felt a deep wave of admiration for someone, only to realize that it flowed out of a hidden desire to please them? If you haven't, totally fine. But for people who feel emotions on a deeper level, such complex feelings play a large part in our experiences. Such has been the case for me. I often tunnel down rabbit holes of thought, getting lost in dreamworlds of what things could be like. Dreams melt into reality inside my head, as sweet and saccharine as freshly melted honey. I can just about shiver at the warmth oozing off of the conversations that weren't to be, the excitement present in the air. My inner world is rich with the glory of standards that reality will never measure up to. What I wrote above is an example of what emotions are felt within my heart at any given moment. Notice the complexity. It can't really be explained in just a few words. Layers upon layers of memories tie back to the moment, enrapturing the mind within a spell. You can see the quick transition from heaven to the deepest depths of hell within a short amount of time. There's one mistake that people tend to make, and it's confusing two important parts of emotions. For all of you reading this right now...depth is not the same as intensity. You can feel a strong burst of jealousy towards your friend and want to rip the trophy right out of their hands. That is intensity, since you're consumed by the entire feeling. But that is different from depth, where you could have multiple conflicting thoughts of envy, pride, and confusion. Depth is where the real turmoil is, where you couldn't even explain the feelings even if you tried. People who feel deeply often are separated from the rest of the world. They experience things on a much more personal level than most of the population. Say, if the average person saw their sibling being bullied, they would move on with their lives relatively untouched save for that one moment of protective instinct. But a deep person is destined to harbor the exact emotions they felt at the time for a long time afterwards, perhaps even months or years. For this reason, negative emotions rock deep people much more heavily. It may lead to paralyzing fear, constant self doubt, or irrepressible surges of rage. They might not be able to voice their troubles to other people, since what they are feeling goes so much deeper than one instant. Some pieces of the puzzle may remain unknown until a later revelation, when everything finally clicks. That's why I often think about past conversations even long after they have happened. However, a valuable lesson that I've learned over the years is not to get too hung over in emotions. Emotions are like a double-edged sword; they allow humans to go on a roller coaster ride from magnificent euphoric nirvana to hair-tearing numb agony. Sometimes they can even pull us further down than the meanest word ever could. And certainly, they are in no way any excuse to act toxic or demean another person. So practice gratitude. Being genuinely thankful for all of the good memories you've had with those close to you will keep all of those negative emotions at bay. Best of all, you'll be surrounded by your precious chums and a bucketful of chuckles. If this article was enjoyable, please send me 10 tokens of appreciation on Dogecoin (just kidding! Most of you won't even get this reference. GOOGLE IT IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.) Check out the rest of my site and follow me on social media - you won't regret it! Hello, I'm Amanda! I'm a 16 year old junior at North Reading High School in Massachusetts, America. Growing up, I struggled to gain the confidence to put myself out there. Self doubt would plague me until the fear of failing was greater than the fear of action itself. I felt lost and dejected. Then, the entire world locked down as COVID-19 swept across our lives. Quarantine gave me the free time to explore graphic design, UI/UX, and front end development - all things I had never been exposed to before, but suddenly found myself enjoying. Along the way, very special people poured their warmth into me as Canva and Figma became integral parts of my life. I view all of these abilities as tools to get me to the places where growth is destiny.
Now, why would anyone trust the words of a 16 year old? Good question. That's your choice whether you want to take that step. I'm not here to pretend I'm an expert, neither would that appeal to me in any way. The purpose of this blog is to offer you the chance to step into my perspective and see ways of viewing our society that are different from what you usually experience. Here, I'll be posting my thoughts on emerging technology, philosophy, and ethics. My core motto is that truth is the pathway to justice. All around us, the world seems like it is falling apart and bringing down people's dreams with it. That is wrong. I once was a very pessimistic person, but after going through a social and emotional journey during quarantine, my worldview totally changed. In fact, the reason why many of us think negatively is because of the postmodernism pushed strongly in our society, where we as a species have finished with our period of philosophical and spiritual discoveries. I'm telling you right now that your life is a choice. You can choose to be sad and depressed, or you can choose to be stubbornly optimistic and courageously persistent. The key to unlocking joy is all in your hands. My strong belief is that in life, you have to be the one to forge your own purpose. This means thinking outside of the box, asking questions, and not being afraid to offer a different perspective. All of these will inevitably be a struggle because it's pretty hard to stand out when all the world tells you is to fit in. No matter what, never be ashamed of who you are. It’s a very hard lesson that has taken me years to learn, and that I am still learning. So for your sake, all of the thoughts and opinions here on this blog are my gift to you. Read through them, learn from them, and don't be afraid to leave a comment or two! I thrive on feedback :)) |
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